Fitness as a Side-Effect
Dear Aaron,
I hear you when you say you want to get fit. I hear that you want that for your health, and for your work as a model. I get that when you say “toning up with a little extra muscle never hurts”, there is some truth in that for what you want to achieve.
What I don’t buy into is what you think you want from our next conversation: “I want to feel more motivated to use my weights at home.”
It’s a combination of madness and self-flagellation. The message you’re telling yourself is “I need to get back to that thing that I didn’t enjoy and that I stopped doing. To do that, I just need more will power”. It’s the same pattern that has people join the gym in January in a flurry of post-Christmas guilt and hope, and the gyms rubbing their hands with glee because they know that by February you’ll still be paying them their monthly fee without stepping foot in the door.
You may want the goal. And you definitely don’t want to do the work.
That’s not a judgement or criticism, it’s just how it is. While you stay in the illusion of “I want the goal, I want to do the work, I just need to get motivated”, you’ll struggle. When you can admit to yourself that deep down either a) you don’t really want the goal as you imagine it, or b) you don’t want to do the work as you imagine it, we can start to make some progress.
My hunch is you do want the goal. You would love to be fitter, leaner and healthier. Not just as a vague idea of it being a “nice to have”, but because it would really make a difference in your life; it would support your dreams.
That must mean you don’t want to do the work.
I could share some tips about how to get motivated to work out with your weights. I’d tell you to create a routine, connect doing weights with something you’re already doing (you get up every morning, how about doing it straight away?), combine it with something you enjoy (maybe listen to an audiobook while working out?), and track your progress (put a chart on your fridge?). All of these things work, they really can make a difference. Maybe they would even be enough.
But I like to go deeper. What if you could find a way for your exercise to be something you really look forward to? Something that is first on your schedule and only a family emergency could shift it?
And what if fitness, toning-up and health are simply side-effects? How would that change things?
I love to ski with friends, not to get me fit, but because it makes me feel so damn good! Fitness just happens.
Some things I know about you:
You’re an extrovert, you love being with people. In fact, you love being the centre of attention!
You’re really creative, I know how much you enjoy writing and telling stories
You love to be outdoors, whatever the weather
When you strut your stuff as a model, you shine, you’re free and expressive
What’s the intersection - possibly a little crazy - of some or all of those things that will have you excited to get started, and get you fit as a side-effect? Give it some thought, and let’s play next time we speak!
Jon
[ a made up letter to a made up client, inspired by real coaching sessions ]
#100daysofcreation #goals #values #fitness #leadership #coaching
This article is part of 100 Days of Creation, my challenge to myself to write 100 articles in 140 days, each taking no longer than 30 minutes to write and publish.