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Crack Open Your Identity


“I am a worrier”


This was the definitive declaration from one of my clients.


It was certain, cast in stone, a core part of their identity. It was said as a fact, like the canvas on which her life was painted. It wasn’t presented as something she would like to change. The assumption was that the coaching could only redraw the painting, not change the canvas. We would simply have to work around it.


I said: “I’d like to offer you another statement, to see if you could hold it as equally true. Could you instead say: I’m someone who sometimes worries?”


Ting! Lightbulb moment!


That shift may seem small, but to someone in their 40s who has defined themselves as a worrier since they were a teenager, it can be huge. It’s the difference between a door firmly shut and locked, and one that is open just a crack.


She couldn’t simply walk through yet, but it was open just enough for a ray of light to shine through and illuminate something that was deeply hidden. That, beyond the worry, beyond the layers that she had taken on to protect herself in some way, was her true-self. Her core essence that is free from self-judgement, the expectations of others and concern for the future.


She could see that, yes, of course there were moments when she didn’t worry.


Having seen that truth, she could never again say “I’m a worrier”. It simply wasn’t true. A single insight set her on a totally new path and we started to rip up and replace the canvas.


What is your “I am a …”, or “I’m not a …” statement? What’s the door you could open a crack to see what shines through?


Jon


#100daysofcreation #identity #worry #leadership #coaching


This article is part of 100 Days of Creation, my challenge to myself to write 100 articles in 140 days, each taking no longer than 30 minutes to write and publish.

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